Unyielding Wish
by Songstress Yunie
Summary: Eagle is torn... Torn between his feelings towards Lantis, the man he betrayed but still loves, and Geo, the man who has always been by his side and who he needs the most... *Ch.3 Up!* (This fic's contents have been edited so it is now an R rating.)
1. Heart of Glass

**Unyielding Wish**

_Chapter 1- Heart of Glass_

by Yuna

March 2001

Disclaimer: Eagle, Geo, and all Magic Knight Rayearth characters belong to CLAMP, not me! I'm not makin' any money outta this!

WARNING: This fic contains yaoi, which means male/male sexual relationships! Also, in upcoming chapters it will contain some yaoi lemon!! So, if ya can't stand the stuff, please just don't read this fic!

Note: This fic will contain spoilers about the entire second season of Magic Knight Rayearth! This fic is based on the anime storyline, not the manga!!

            "When you're lonely, when you're hurting

             don't go off to be alone.

             Know that I'll always

             be there with you, without fail...

             Tell me, why don't people 

             realize their true feelings?

             Even though the things they like, the people they love

             are all that matters.

             If we cover up our feelings, or pretend we don't see

             nothing will change,

             So let's live honestly,

             our eyes looking far to the future..."

                                                -Megumi Hayashibara, "I'll Be There"

Geo gazed out the window of the NSX. He stared at the sea of stars around them. _They're so beautiful... I wish I could touch them... But a wish like that is impossible, isn't it?_

He sighed. Well_, it looks like we'll be reaching Cephiro soon. Geo's thoughts began to wander. __I still can't believe that we're doing this. We're trying to invade a foreign world... Do we have the right to do that? When does anyone ever have the right to do something like that? I hope you know what you're doing, Eagle..._

He smiled wearily. _If Eagle wasn't the commander of this mission, I don't think I'd consent to come along... Of course, I'd follow him anywhere..._

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening. He turned around and saw his commander and friend, Eagle.

"Geo..." Eagle slowly walked over to him. His knees grew weak and he collapsed.

"Eagle!" Geo rushed over and caught him. He slowly helped Eagle to his feet, keeping one arm wrapped tightly around Eagle's waist for support.

Eagle softly rested his head on Geo's chest. Eagle shut his eyes. Geo felt himself blush. He could feel Eagle's warm breath on his skin. He could feel Eagle's soft hair pressed against him.

Geo gently placed a hand on the small of Eagle's back. He patted Eagle's silver hair_. I hope he can't hear how fast my heart is beating right now..._

Geo sighed wistfully. _Eagle... I wish I could hold you like this forever..._

Eagle lifted his head to look at his friend. "Thanks, Geo... Sorry about this. I came here to tell you that we're close to Cephiro... I guess I was more tired than I thought."

Geo held his breath. He couldn't help but stare into Eagle's deep liquid brown eyes...

Eagle smiled and separated himself from Geo. Geo felt strangely empty with the loss of the other man's warmth around him. "Eagle..."

"Hmm?"

"Eagle... Are you ok? What's wrong?"

Eagle closed his eyes and gave Geo his traditional smile. "Oh, it's nothing. I feel much better now."

"Eagle... I..."

Still smiling, Eagle interrupted him. "I'm a little tired now, Geo. Can we talk more later?"

Geo shut his eyes and sighed. "All right, commander."

"Good. Ja!" Eagle walked out of the room.

Geo shook his head sadly.

_Eagle... How come every time I try to get close to you... you run away?_

_From me.___

_Why, Eagle?_

****

Geo was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. _Eagle... What made you so sad all of a sudden? I tried to ask you that, but... you shut me out from your feelings. As usual... Why won't you tell me what's really bothering you? Instead, you hide your feelings from me with that cheerful, polite expression of yours, telling me that everything's all right when it really is far from that. _

_I can see behind your mask, Eagle._

_Why do you need one? Why do you need to hide what you're feeling..._

_From me?___

_After all, we spend everyday together, working together. I spend everyday by your side, following your commands, giving you advice, being the best damn second-in-command and friend that I can be._

_And yet...__ You don't seem to know that I exist... You don't seem to care if I exist._

_Eagle..._

_When will you ever notice me? _

_When will you notice that I'm always supporting you, that I'd do anything for you?_

_That I love you..._

_It hurts, Eagle._

_It hurts when you ignore me like that. _

_Sometimes I just want to know what you're thinking, what you're really feeling..._

_But you'll never let me._

_You'll never let me in your heart, as anything more than just a friend._

_Why, Eagle?_

_What are you so afraid of?_

_Are you afraid that I'd hurt you?_

_Hurting you is that last thing I'd ever want to do. _

_Are you afraid of someone loving__ you?_

_Of having someone utterly, completely devote himself to you? Of having someone willing to protect you for the rest of his life? Of having someone willing to risk everything for your dream? Of having someone willing to die for you?_

_Or are you afraid of loving that someone back?_

****

Geo slowly walked to Eagle's room. He sighed deeply. _I finally think I know what's bothering him..._

_He's thinking about Lantis._

_He always is, isn't he..._

Geo clenched his hand in a tight fist. _Eagle's probably worried about Autozam taking over Cephiro, Lantis' country. He's probably wondering if he'll see Lantis when we get there. He's probably afraid that he won't be able to do the mission, because he doesn't want to hurt Lantis..._

_He loves him, doesn't he?_

_They were so close... I've never seen Eagle as happy as when he was with Lantis... _

_Eagle was so hurt after Lantis left... He was so sad, even though he tried to hide it from me. I could tell, though. When Lantis left, Eagle's eyes lost some of their brightness, their shine._

_He changed._

_He became more shut off from his emotions. He began hiding what he felt..._

_Why can't he share his pain with me?_

_Eagle... It hurts me to see you so sad..._

Geo stopped when he reached his destination. He took a deep breath. _I have to talk to him about this._

"Eagle? May I come in?"

"Geo? Um... All right."

Tentatively, Geo entered the room. "Eagle, I... I want to talk to you about something." Geo nervously began to pace back and forth.

"Geo? What is is?" Eagle stood up from where he was lying on his bed.

"It's about before. Why are you so sad, Eagle? Are you worried about our mission?"

Eagle sighed. "Yes. I... I'm just not sure that I can accomplish it."

Geo spoke softly. "Because of Lantis, right?"

Eagle looked down at the floor to avoid meeting Geo's eyes. Eagle's expression was shrouded by the darkness of the room. 

"Eagle..." Geo frowned slightly.

Eagle turned his back to his friend. He slowly closed his eyes. "I... I guess I am a little... concerned about him."

Geo's heart pounded loudly. "Eagle... Do you love him?"

Eagle's soft brown eyes opened in shock. He stared blankly into space.

"Eagle..." Geo's jade eyes darkened. He walked over to the other man and wrapped his arms around him from behind, pressing him against his body.

"Geo!" Eagle squirmed in his grasp.

Geo softly whispered in Eagle's ear. "Eagle... What's your answer?"

Eagle managed to turn around to face Geo. Tears began to well up in his eyes. "I... I don't know... I..."

Geo wrapped one arm around Eagle's waist, pulling him closer. He tangled his other hand in Eagle's silver hair. He leaned forward and kissed Eagle's parted lips.

Eagle's eyes widened as he felt Geo's lips on his own. He moaned slightly as he felt Geo's tongue caress the inside of his mouth. Eagle shut his eyes, letting himself be overcome by the sensation. Eagle held onto Geo's shoulders for support while Geo's tongue mashed against his.

Reluctantly, Geo broke off the kiss, leaving Eagle gasping for breath. Neither spoke for what seemed like an eternity. 

Finally, Geo spoke up, his emerald eyes darkened with passion. "I..."

"Geo..." Eagle tore his eyes away from Geo's gaze. "Please leave. I... I want to be alone now."

Geo felt his heart break in that moment, like a mirror shattering into many shards of glass. "Eagle... I'm sorry." He silently walked out of the room. Before he left, he turned around for one last glance at his friend. "I just want you to know that... if you want to talk about whatever is bothering you, whatever is making you so sad... I'll be there." 

As soon as he got outside to the corridor, Geo leaned back against the wall separating him from Eagle's room. 

_Why, Eagle? _

Geo closed his eyes, letting a single tear trickle down his face.

****

Eagle slumped down on his bed, staring at the bare ceiling above. He softly traced a finger along his slightly swollen lips.

"Geo..." He sighed.

_I... I'm sorry..._

_But...__ It has to be like this. I can't let anything or anyone get in the way of my mission..._

_I have to make my wish come true..._

_No matter what.___

_I won't yield it to anyone._

_Not even to the ones I love..._

To be continued...

Author's Note: Hi everyone! I had to reupload this fic in FF.net because of the new rule. I changed it so that it is rated R, although I think it was mostly rated PG-13 anyways. The thing I'm sad about though is that because of this, I lost all of my reviews for this fic! :( Each and every one of those reviews means so, so much to me, and even though I have them still saved on a file on my computer, they won't show up in FF.net anymore. Well, I guess I just have to hope that all you guys review then, rite? Please review my fic, even if you had already! Thanks soo much! I'll try to continue this story soon!


	2. Wavering Emotions

**Unyielding Wish**

_Chapter 2- Wavering Emotions_

by Yuna

August 2001

Disclaimer: Eagle, Lantis, and all Magic Knight Rayearth characters belong to CLAMP, not me! I'm not makin' any money outta this!

WARNING: This fic contains yaoi, which means male/male sexual relationships! Also, in upcoming chapters it will contain some yaoi lemon!! So, if ya can't stand the stuff, please just don't read this fic!

Note: This fic will contain scenes and spoilers from the entire second season of Magic Knight Rayearth! This fic is based on the anime storyline, not the manga!!

"You flashed me an innocent smile

So I didn't ask for the reason behind your tears

You shook off my hand that held yours...

Softly over your back I started saying

'It's okay now,' I repeated over and over again.

I couldn't say anything but that

To your faintly trembling self but

Always, I will remain near only you

Until I've held you in my arms

Until you've noticed the signs... 

Perhaps the number of tears have been

Greater than the number of smiles but

Stay close by

That is what I can do for you...

Always, only I...

Because I can't let go of you

Because I'll absolutely protect you...

Until you've noticed the signs."

-Gackt, "Kimi no Tame ni Dekiru Koto" 

Eagle lay on his bed, resting his face on his pillow. He kept repeating what just happened between Geo and him over and over in his mind, trying to make some sense of it all.

_Geo kissed him._

_Geo, his second-in-command.___

_Geo, his friend.___

_And what did he do?_

_He pushed him away. He told Geo to leave him alone._

_Why did I do that? Eagle shook his head._

_I don't know... I guess I just couldn't stand to see the look in his eyes... I couldn't stand to see the rejection, the hurt, the pain, the sorrow... in Geo's eyes... Geo's beautiful jade eyes..._

_I.... I don't understand... Does Geo... care for me as more than a friend?_

_Could he... love me?_

_No... He can't._

_No one should love me..._

Eagle shivered slightly.

_I don't deserve to be loved._

_Can't he see what I'm doing? It was my idea to invade Cephiro and take its Pillar system to save Autozam. It was my idea to attack Cephiro right now, when it has no Pillar, when it's vulnerable, when it's helpless. It was my idea to use an innocent county..._

_And what's worse, I'm betraying Lantis..._

_I'm using everything Lantis told me against him..._

_How else would I know about the Pillar system? How else would I know that Cephiro is helpless without a Pillar?_

_I'm taking advantage of my friendship with Lantis... I'm taking advantage of his trust..._

_And now I'm invading Lantis' country, his home..._

_Even though a part of me wishes that his home was here..._

_With me.___

_Maybe I'm angry at Lantis for leaving Autozam, for leaving me... Maybe I just can't forgive him for hurting me like that, for breaking my heart..._

_For leaving me alone...___

_It hurt so much when he left. I felt so empty, like I was missing a part of myself, like I was missing a part of my own heart. I didn't feel... complete... without him._

_I missed him so much._

_I still do._

_I miss everything about him... I miss his sweet smile, the one that he still makes in spite of his normally cool, calm personality. I miss his beautiful blue eyes, eyes that I would melt in when we gazed at each other, eyes that reflected the quiet sadness of his soul. I miss his handsome face, a face that I will remember forever. I miss his strong arms, arms that would hold me and keep me safe and warm. I miss his soft lips, lips that would meet mine in a sweet, passionate kiss. I miss his dark locks of hair which I used to tangle my fingers in. I miss his soft touch, a touch that was sometimes a comforting cupping of my chin, and other times a hot caressing of my whole body. I miss his deep voice, a voice that would call my name at times with loving gentleness and at other times a voice that would cry out my name in ecstasy..._

_But now...___

_I'm alone._

Beautiful brown eyes glistened with tears.

_Lantis__..._

_Why?_

_I..._

_I loved you._

_In fact...___

_I still do._

Eagle shut his eyes and cried himself to sleep.

****

Eagle smiled at Geo, his eyes closed in order to hide the sorrow that too frequently filled his normally bright eyes. The two men were talking in the conference room of the NSX, waiting for Zazu to bring the Magic Knight they had captured earlier.

Eagle quenched his desire to sigh. _It had been a few days since Geo... kissed me... and I haven't talked to him about it. I wanted to, but I didn't know what to say..._

_What can I say to make things better?_

_I know I hurt him..._

_But...__ I can't let him love me..._

_I can't, because of my wish._

_I know I'll only hurt him more in the end._

_It's better for him if I keep my distance from him, at least, emotionally. It's better for him if he starts to hate me for not returning his feelings. It's better for him not to get too attached to me. It's better for him to not love me..._

_It's better for the both of us this way._

_Because... I... I know I can never be with him..._

_Even though a part of me knows..._

_I'm falling in love with him._

"Eagle? Eagle? Are you listening to me?"

Eagle blinked as Geo's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something." He laughed softly.

"Really..." Geo leaned close to the smaller man. Jade eyes met brown ones. "What..."

Eagle stiffened slightly when he felt the other man's warm breath on his face.

"... were you thinking about, Commander?" Geo whispered.

Brown eyes widened. "I... uh..."

Suddenly, both men heard the sound of footsteps. Geo quickly stepped away from his friend. The door opened to reveal Zazu and a young red haired girl.

After Geo and Zazu left, Eagle discussed his reason for invading Cephiro with Hikaru. He told her how his country, Autozam, uses the power of peoples' minds in order to sustain the country, but the country became too dependent on automation that it began to rob the peoples' mental energy. He told her how Autozam is dying, so he is planning to become Cephiro's Pillar so that he can find a way to save his country. He couldn't help but notice how young she is for a warrior, for a protector of Cephiro. Eagle smiled softly. _Hikaru__ is a nice, brave girl. I would like to be her friend, but I know that under the circumstances, I cannot be._

Eagle was about to leave and let Hikaru change back into her school girl uniform when she interrupted him. "Eagle!"

The commander shut his eyes, not turning around to face the young girl.

"The Pillar of Cephiro actually lives in pain. The Pillar would not be forgiven for doing something for oneself. The Pillar is actually very sad." Hikaru looked at Eagle solemnly.

"I know. I heard it from Lantis," Eagle replied calmly.

"Then why..." Crimson eyes began to fill with tears.

Suddenly, part of the roof collapsed. Eagle quickly placed a shield around him and Hikaru. After the dust cleared, a dark figure could be seen.

Eagle's brown eyes widened with shock. Lantis...

"Lantis!" 

Hikaru's voice brought Eagle back to reality. He narrowed his eyes slightly as he faced his old love.

"Give back Hikaru," Lantis calmly spoke.

"I cannot." A light sword appeared from Eagle's arm device. He shot a blast of light energy at Lantis.

"Lantis!" Hikaru's eyes grew wide.

The dark haired man leaped off of his animal spirit, narrowly avoiding Eagle's attack. He called forth his own light sword and charged at his old friend. Eagle ran towards the other man, accepting his challenge. Their swords clashed in a fierce struggle. 

"You are as strong as ever." Despite seeming calm, Eagle couldn't help but remember how he and Lantis first met in a different battle... _Back in Autozam..._

"Eagle, why did you come to Cephiro?" 

"Autozam will collapse at this rate. There is no other way but to use the Pillar system of Cephiro."

"So you're saying you would sacrifice yourself?" Lantis' eyes darkened slightly.

Both men separated from each other. They held their swords in front of them, ready for another fight. 

Someone began pounding on the door. "Eagle! What's going on?! What happened?!"

Geo... Eagle stood still, unsure of what to do. 

All of a sudden Hikaru began to glow with a bright light. She disappeared in an instant. Eagle and Lantis watched in shock as she vanished.

"Eagle! Come on, answer me!!" Geo continued to knock loudly on the door.

Ignoring his friend, Eagle turned to Lantis. "What do you think happened to her?"

"I'm not sure. Someone must have transported her out of here."

Eagle nodded. "Whatever took her felt... evil..." He shivered slightly. "Can you sense where it came from, Lantis?"

"I will try..." Lantis turned to the other man. "But... Eagle... Why are you doing this to yourself? You know how the Pillar can only pray for the happiness of his people... What about your happiness?"

Eagle lowered his gaze, letting his silver bangs mask his expression. "That doesn't matter anymore."

Blue eyes filled with concern. "Eagle..."

"Did you find the location of whatever took Hikaru?" 

Lantis turned away from Eagle. "It's near... it's right next to Cephiro."

"That girl has disappeared... Is that magic as well?"

Lantis faced Eagle, staring at the other man silently.

Eagle smiled. "Hikaru is a cute girl." He paused. "It is true that only those summoned from the other world can become Magic Knights, wasn't it?"

"I already told you, that this Cephiro, which came to have lost this Pillar, is by no means just, and that is why I return." Lantis gazed intently at Eagle.

Eagle stared back at Lantis, sweetly, innocently, even... trustingly. Time seemed to stop for him as he gazed into Lantis' sapphire eyes.

"I do not want to fight with you." 

Surprised, Eagle's eyes filled with uncertainty for a moment. He shook his head, closing his eyes. _I... I don't want to fight you either, Lantis... But... it can't be avoided... I must make my wish come true..._

Eagle and Lantis turned around at the sound of the door being broken down. They saw Geo, Zazu, and several guards standing where the door once was.

Geo ran in the room. "You all right, Eagle?!" Zazu followed him, crying out, "Eagle!"

Both blinked twice as they noticed Eagle's companion. "Lantis?!"

Lantis took out his sword and raised it in the air, pointing it to the stars above. He called his animal spirit and jumped onto it swiftly.

The guards were about to shoot Lantis, but Eagle motioned for them to stop. "He is probably protected by magic. You will not hit him even if you fire." Eagle tried not to sigh. _Besides...__ I don't want to hurt him..._

_I've hurt him too much already..._

Lantis stared at Eagle for a moment before he flew away on his horse.

Eagle looked down at the ground. Goodbye, Lantis... He turned to Zazu. "Zazu, the girl you like has gone back already."

Exasperated, Zazu frowned. "And I already made new clothes for Hikaru..."

Geo walked over to his friend. "Eagle..."

Eagle looked up at Geo, pain and sorrow in his beautiful brown eyes. He rested his face on his friend's chest. "I had prepared for this..." Eagle closed his eyes, willing the tears not to fall. "It's no use when Lantis looks at me with those eyes... My determination was almost shaken. No matter what the reason, invading is not a very joyous thing." Eagle tried to calm himself by listening to the soft thud of Geo's heartbeat. 

Geo put his arm on the smaller man's shoulder. "I'll give you all my sweets, so cheer up." He gazed down at Eagle lovingly.

Eagle took a step back and hesitated for a moment. _Geo is always there for me, isn't he? He looked up at Geo and smiled sweetly. "Even the ones hidden in your room, okay?"_

Geo smiled back at him. "Yes, whatever you want, Eagle..." He turned as he heard Zazu's footsteps as the young boy left the room. He turned back to Eagle.

"Thanks, Geo. You are always so kind to me. I... I don't know what I would do without you..."

"Eagle... Don't worry. Everything will be all right. It's okay if you cry, Eagle. I'll be here, for you." 

His eyes glistening with tears, Eagle leaned forward and kissed Geo's lips softly. He pulled away and whispered, "Stay with me tonight, Geo..."

Jade eyes widened. "Eagle?"

"Please, Geo..." 

"I..."

"Please..."

"Eagle..."

"I... I don't want to be alone." 

To be continued...


	3. Sweet Mirage

**Unyielding Wish**

_Chapter 3- Sweet Mirage_

by Yuna

February 2002 (edited version- October 2002)

Disclaimer: Eagle, Geo, and all Magic Knight Rayearth characters belong to CLAMP, not me! I'm not makin' any money outta this!

WARNING: This chapter contains yaoi that borders on lime, which means male/male sexual relationships! So, if ya can't stand the stuff, are uncomfortable with such material, or are too young to read such material, please just don't read this fic!

Note: This fic will contain scenes and spoilers from the entire second season of Magic Knight Rayearth! This fic is based on the anime storyline, not the manga!! Please read with caution!

                        "Calling, from the heaviness of the sighs on the endless nights

                         I am in pain from missing you

                         I can no longer see anything 

                         Don't let me go

                         Don't leave me...

                         Calling in the night

                         My emotions make my heart pound

                         Night after night

                         Love is crying out

                         I can hear silent words in my dreams

                         Shut out the bitter memories

                         I can no longer see anything

                         Don't tell me, don't say anything at all

                         Falling into the heat of the night

                         Ah, it's all just a mirage"

                                                    -Ishihara Shin'ichi, "Eternal"

_This isn't wrong. _

"Geo... Let's go to your room."

Jade eyes widened. "Eagle... What..."

"Please."

Geo sighed softly as he led Eagle to his room. 

Eagle refused to look at Geo, his eyes glued to the ground as they walked in silence. _This isn't wrong... I... I just need to be with someone tonight... I just need to know that someone cares for me, that someone wants me... I just need to be held, to be embraced... _

_I just need to recover from seeing Lantis..._

_From having all of those torturous memories rushing back..._

_From hearing that deep, enchanting voice..._

_From staring into those beautiful eyes that once held love... _

_For me..._

_I just need to forget._

The two men entered the darkly lit room. The young commander walked close to Geo, close enough that they could feel each other's warm breathing, close enough that they could hear each other's heartbeats...

"Geo..." Brown eyes tinged with sorrow gazed into green eyes full of concern.

"Eagle..."

"Geo... Make me yours."

"What? Eagle, I..." Eagle's lips claimed Geo's in an urgent, almost harsh kiss.

The younger man pulled away and whispered, "Please, Geo... I don't want to be alone anymore."

"But... Lantis..."

Lantis... Lantis is gone. I just had to see him once more before I could finally realize that. Things will never be the same as they were back in Autozam. Even if the feelings still remain... Eagle rested his head on Geo's chest. "Lantis doesn't matter to me anymore..."

Jade eyes darkened. "You're lying."

"..." 

"I saw the way you looked at him. I saw the flicker of hope in you eyes as you thought that he might..."

"No... That's not true. I can't think of him in the same way anymore." Brown eyes narrowed. "We are now enemies." 

"Eagle... You can't mean that. I know that you still..."

"Geo, please..." Eagle reached out and traced a hand along Geo's face. 

The older man sighed softly.

Strong arms wrapped around Eagle's thin waist. "Are you sure you want this, Eagle?"

A moment of hesitation.

Eagle softly shut his eyes, lost in thought, torn by his conflicting emotions.

_I'm not sure of anything anymore...._

A tentative nod.

_All I know is that I want to forget._

_Forget about how I betrayed Lantis, the one I still love... Forget about my duty to conquer this innocent world... Forget about how Geo may love me, and I might hurt him even more in the end because of this night... Forget about how I can't love anyone..._

__

_Forget about my wish..._

Eagle tilted his face up towards the other man. Geo's lips claimed Eagle's own, a tongue slipping in to taste his sweetness.  

A tear rolled down Eagle's cheek.

The two men made their way to the bed in the middle of the dark, sparsely decorated room. Eagle laid on his back, resting his head on the soft pillow. Geo peered down at him, and gently cupped the other man's chin in his hands. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Eagle? I... I don't want us to do anything that we might regret..."

_I... I'm too far gone now._

_I don't care about the consequences._

_I don't care about anything at all... I don't want to care about anything anymore. I don't want to worry about anything anymore. I don't want to think about anything anymore._

_I just want to feel._

_I want to feel... nothing._

_Geo..._

_Break me._

Brown eyes met jade ones.

Two hearts started beating faster.

Geo lightly planted hot kisses along Eagle's neck, savoring the soft, sweet flesh. He licked a trail along the younger man's collarbone, covering every inch of the tanned, sweaty skin with his lips.

"Take me, Geo..."

_This is wrong._

_But..._

Eagle arched into Geo's touches, craving more. "Yes..."

_It feels so good._

Throwing his head back, Eagle screamed.

****

_Warmth._

_I feel it._

_All around me._

Soft brown eyes opened. Eagle gasped softly. 

He was lying on Geo's bare, muscled chest. Geo's strong arms were wrapped tightly around Eagle's waist protectively. A damp bed sheet was pulled over their two naked bodies. 

Trapped in the other man's embrace, Eagle sighed.

_It feels so... warm... almost like all that is cold, all that is dark, in the world doesn't exist if he's with me... It feels so... peaceful... almost like if I stay here in his arms, I wouldn't have to worry about anything, because I know that he'll always be by my side, that he'll always protect me, that he'll always love me... _

_That I'll never be alone..._

A tear began to form in beautiful brown eyes.

_But...__ It can never be._

_Even as much as a part of me wants to just stay here in his arms, in the arms of a man who I..._

_I..._

Images from the distant past flashed in Eagle's mind. 

_Strong arms pinning him to a cold bed. Hot lips on his neck, on his chest. A hand tangling in his hair. A tongue slipping into his mouth hungrily. _

_His own soft moans of pleasure..._

_Icy blue eyes consumed with a lustful fire gazing at him..._

Brown eyes widened.

_What have I done?_

_No... I shouldn't have allowed this to happen. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so hurt by Lantis that I needed some support, some comfort..._

_That I needed something..._

_I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so weak._

_Not in front of Geo... Not in front of anyone..._

_Not even in front of myself._

_I can't be weak._

_I can't miss Lantis. I can't question my mission to invade his country and steal the Pillar system. I can't feel guilty about hurting him, about betraying him..._

_I can't have these lingering feelings for him... I can't still be in love with him anymore._

_And Geo..._

_I can't do this to him. I can't keep giving him mixed signals, leading him on to think that I want to be with him one moment and being cold to him the next. I can't keep letting him think that there's a chance that we can be together, because I'm only hurting him in the end..._

_I can't keep using him like this..._

_I can't have these growing, uncertain feelings for him... I can't fall in love with him._

_I have to be strong. I have to be distant, aloof to others. I can't let anyone get close to me. I can't let anyone in my heart._

_Even as much as I want to... as I need to... right now._

_Because... it'll only cause them more pain if I do._

_That's all I'm good for._

_Hurting others._

_I don't want to hurt the ones I love anymore... I don't want to bring them down with me. Because... The closer I get to the ones I love, to Lantis, to Geo, to Zazu... _

_The more it's going to hurt them when my wish comes true._

_When my wish comes true, and I die like a warrior._

_No matter what, I know that I'm going to die alone._

Eagle suddenly brought a hand to his mouth as harsh coughs escaped his dry, scratchy throat. _No, not again!  Not now! I hope I don't wake him..._

A slight ruffling in the sheets. Geo stirred in his sleep, but didn't wake up, not having heard Eagle.

A soft sigh of relief.

_I... I have to go. I can't stay here... with him._

Eagle slowly slipped out from under the covers. He dressed himself quietly, hoping not to wake the other man. Pausing for a moment, he watched the sleeping form of his friend. Geo was lying on his stomach, one muscular arm draped around his pillow. He was breathing steadily, and Eagle heard faint snoring.

He smiled softly.

Eagle leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on the other man's cheek.

_I wish you could just wake up and think that nothing happened here tonight... that it was all a dream..._

_But, I can't erase the past._

_Even as much as I want to._

_All we have is the future..._

_At least... you... have a future, Geo..._

_Don't let me ruin it._

"Goodbye, Geo."

With that, Eagle walked out of the room and shut the door.

~To be continued...~

Author's Note: Hi there! Well, this is the edited version of this chapter, so if you want the original version you'll have to check out my webpage! ^^ I will continue to write the rest of this fic, but I've just been so wrapped up in other things lately. I thank all of u for reviewing and supporting this fic!! You guys are the bestest! ^.^


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